


Aren't You Something To Admire

by Who_Watches_the_Watchman



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Ed's half-veela, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Post-Harry Potter Original Series, Roy was part of the Order of the Phoenix, Roy's the DADA Teacher, Some angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-25
Updated: 2016-11-04
Packaged: 2018-08-24 16:19:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,817
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8379103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Who_Watches_the_Watchman/pseuds/Who_Watches_the_Watchman
Summary: “You know, I’m pretty sure it’s traditional to include another person at a drinking contest. Trying to drink yourself under the table could be painful, as well as humiliating.”





	1. Sixth Year

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Occhiolysm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Occhiolysm/gifts).



> HAPPY BIRTHDAY RACHEL!!! Here's your birthday present!

Ed stared at the empty tankard in front of him and wondered if it was even possible to get drunk on Butterbeer. He’d been trying for the past hour, but all he felt was an increasing need to go to the bathroom. Rosemerta had refilled his mug when he’d asked last time; however, her expression hadn’t been happy about it and he doubted if she’d contribute any more to his useless attempt. Worse, he was starting to feel sick. The warm, fuzzy feeling of Butterbeer had started to become a swirling kind of nausea.

“You know, I’m pretty sure it’s traditional to include another person at a drinking contest. Trying to drink _yourself_ under the table could be painful, as well as humiliating.”

Ed’s mild state of intoxication wasn’t enough to stop the instant flood of awareness that swept through him. The sick feeling in his stomach combined with the sense that his intestines were tying themselves in knots just made things worse.

He lifted his head and looked up. Professor Roy Mustang, his DADA teacher stood there, his coat folded over his arm and his royal blue robes looking disturbingly good in the dim light. There was a dusting of snow in his hair and his cheeks were flushed from the cold.

Ed swallowed and blurted out, “I don’t have anyone to have a drinking contest with.” The words sounded more pathetic out loud then he expected; his face went red as he ducked his head and stared into the depths of his still-empty tankard.

There was a moment when the background noise from the tavern filled in the silence. Then he heard the rustle of fabric and looked up; he expected Professor Mustang to have moved on. Instead, he took the seat opposite Ed’s. He had a tiny frown line between his eyes as he looked Ed over, “Is something wrong with Alphonse?”

Ed shook his head. “He’s on a date with May,” he said, trying not to sound as annoyed as he felt.

“Miss Rockbell then?”

“She’s off with Sheska.”

“Ling Yao?”

“Lan Fan wanted to visit Zonko’s.”

“Ah,” a thoughtful look entered Professor Mustang’s eyes and his gaze seemed directed more in the past then on Ed. “I remember my fifth year at Hogwarts. _All_ my friends ended up pairing up. I made more than one visit to Hogsmede by myself.” He flashed Ed a smile as swift and brief as summer lightning. “At least your friends waited until sixth year.”

“That’s because we all hated each other in fifth year,” Ed grumbled.

Professor Mustang shrugged, “I wouldn’t know anything about it.”

Ed sighed, went to take a swig of his Butterbeer, remembered that it was empty, and instead passed it from hand to hand. “They were all stupid and super sensitive and all wound up on years of secret crushes.” He winced. “Winry was actually dating Al for a while and Sheska was with that guy from Gryffindor, Salamander or whatever his name is. They were constantly either screaming at each other or not talking because they didn’t think they were gay for each other; Al was too shy to ask Mei, so he asked Winry because he’d known her forever and… Yeah, it was a mess.”

Professor Mustang looked amused. “And you?”

“Me what?” His mug was empty, maybe he should ask Rosemerta for another one…

“Who did you end up dating?”

Ed’s head snapped up and he stared at him. “No one!” Professor Mustang looked surprised at his tone and Ed bit his bottom lip. “I stayed out of it,” he muttered, looking back down at the table.

“Hmmm.”

Rosemerta suddenly bustled over, her full green shirt swishing. “A peppermint ale?”

“Thank you,” Professor Mustang leaned back as she set the mug on the table in front of him.

Ed looked up and started to ask for another Butterbeer, but his professor cut him off. “I think you’ve had enough, Edward,” he said firmly and to Rosemerta, “perhaps some water?”

Ed thought about protesting but didn’t bother. His stomach really could use something besides Butterbeer. He ordered a glass of water and waited. He turned back to Professor Mustang when Rosemerta had hurried away. “What was that ‘hmmm’ supposed to mean?”

He shrugged as he took a sip from his mug, “I was surprised, that’s all.”

Ed’s fingers tightened unconsciously around the still-empty tankard and he scowled down at the table. “Why, because I’m half-Veela?”

“Because I would have thought that after five years at Hogwarts, you would have enjoyed, at the very least, one relationship.”

Ed shrugged, “There was only one person that I was really interested in.” He lifted his head, stared directly into Professor Mustang’s eyes and said gravely, “She was dating my brother.”

There was a flash of sympathy and understanding in his eyes before he said, “Edward, I’m sorry.” He looked it so much that Ed simply couldn’t help laughing.

It felt good to laugh; he tossed his head back and let the amusement out. It eventually died, but there were some tears; he wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. “I’m joking, Professor! I was never interested in Winry.”

Mustang’s eyebrows arched. “It amuses you to make light of the _very grave_ matters of adolescent attraction and affection?”

Ed’s mouth half fell open and Mustang smirked, clearly pleased.

Ed snorted and tossed his head, deliberately turning his face to the side so that his ponytail brushed against his cheek before turning back to him. He thought he saw a flash of interest in Mustang’s eyes, but it disappeared so quickly that he could have been mistaken. He ran a finger over the grooves in the table and studied the movement before he spoke, “What about you then? Was fifth year when you worked up the nerve to ask a girl out?”

Mustang leaned back in his seat and his gaze turned distant again. “No, I asked a girl out in fourth year.” He fell silent, and half-smiled as he stared over Ed’s head, clearly remembering something bittersweet.

Ed waited but Mustang appeared to have completely forgotten about him. “Was it awful?” He asked finally.

Mustang blinked and shifted his gaze back to him. “No, no, it was quite… pleasant, really.” He hesitated then sighed. “It’s just… I had the biggest row of my life that night.”

“With the girl?”

“No, with my best friend.”

Ed frowned. “Why with him?”

“Ah, he thought I wasn’t serious. Of course, we were only fourteen so I really wasn’t serious. He was justified but…” He shrugged and smiled weakly. “Maes has always had a somewhat old-fashioned notion of relationships. He believes in,” both hands came up to make air quotes, “true love.”

Ed made a face. “Ugh, spare me, _please_. True love is the most ridiculous idea in the world.”

“What?” Mustang asked, a smile dancing on the corners of his lips. “You don’t believe that we have one person we’re meant to be with and that our destinies are written in the stars and that happily ever after is just a matter of finding that person?”

Ed’s throat went tight with an emotion very different then amusement. “No. I fucking _don’t_.”

Roy’s smile vanished. “I apologize. Did I say something…?”

“Love doesn’t make things better, it’s just a fairy tale that children get told. It can’t do anything useful and it doesn’t mean that the person will even be around when they’re needed!” Ed’s voice rose until he was shouting; he knew he should stop but couldn’t. He stood up quickly from the table, and stalked out of the Three Broomsticks, fuming.

True love! Did people really still believe in it? Didn’t they know what it did to those that did believe in it? True love never helped anyone. It only hurt those that deserved it the least–

“Edward!”

He stopped, snowflakes swirling around him and turned around, thrusting his hands deep into the pockets of his robes. Mustang had followed him. He looked almost too good against the white landscape, wreathed in snowflakes, white mist curling from his lips as he breathed.

This was the moment when he was scolded for making a scene and yelling and disturbing the other patrons…

“You left your coat.”

Ed blinked then saw that what Mustang was holding out to him was his coat. He must have left it on the seat next to him and then he realized he was shivering. “Uh, thanks,” he muttered, reaching out to take it. Once he had it, he just held it, looking down and shifting from foot to foot. “Look… I’m sorry about yelling. It’s not your fault or anything.”

“It’s all right,” Mustang said softly. He touched Ed’s shoulder as if he expected to be punched and when he wasn’t, curled his fingers around his shoulder just enough so that Ed could feel he was there without making it too tight. “I opened an old wound, I think,” he added, a sardonic smile on his face. “I’m good at that.”

 Ed swallowed. “It’s just… my dad left. When Al and I were really little. And… he never came back. I mean… never.” The words are harder to get out then he remembered and he still hated saying them. “Mom never saw him again. She missed him a lot. She never got over him.” A bitter smirk twisted his lips. “She believed in,” he lifted both hands in a terrible imitation of Mustang’s earlier air quotes, “true love.”

He didn’t look up. He didn’t want to see the mix of sympathy and pity that he knew would be evident in his expression.

There was a moment of stillness then Mustang withdrew his hand and Ed resisted the urge to sigh, slowly lifting his head.

Mustang glanced around, then reached into the pocket of his robe. “If you tell anyone I gave you this, I’ll deny it,” he said quietly and pressed something cold and hard into his hands. “I’ll see you in class on Tuesday. Don’t forget about my essay,” he said casually and waved as he walked back into the Three Broomsticks.

Ed looked down at the object in his hands and blinked.

Then he grinned and slid it into the pocket of his robe. It seemed Mustang wasn’t averse to bending some rules either. Ed didn’t know another teacher that would have given him a bottle of firewhiskey.

 _Maybe_ , he thought, starting back to the castle, his thoughts lingering on Mustang, _maybe. Someday_.

 


	2. Seventh Year

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Are you a dark wizard,' was probably not the best way to proceed.

“Brother, you’re a little pathetic,” were Al’s first words to him across the Ravenclaw table at breakfast.

Ed scowled at his plate of waffles and ham before shifting it to Al. “I don’t know what you’re talking about and I don’t want to know.”

Mei sat next to Al, having abandoned the Gryffindor table to be with him and gave Ed a curious look. “He doesn’t look any different from normal. Why is he more pathetic today?”

“He spent _twenty_ minutes on his hair this morning,” Al said gravely. Ed’s head snapped up, his eyes narrowing; he opened his mouth to speak but Al beat him to it, “I have eyewitnesses.”

“You’re about to have a face full of orange juice,” Ed snarled and stabbed his ham with a fork, before taking a huge bite and chewing violently.

“You’re going to have to say that again,” Mei said in clear disbelief. “Edward _Elric_ , firm advocate against anything self-promoting, averse to wearing anything that makes him look nice, _arch_ enemy of _anyone_ that tries to win his attention,” she took a deep breath and leaned forward, eyebrows arched, “preening? What brought this about?”

 “He turned seventeen over Easter Break,” Al said, solemn enough for a priest.

“What does that have to do with it?” Mei asked, looking puzzled.

Ed was tempted to cover his ears with his hands so that he didn’t have to hear the next words out of Al’s mouth–

“He’s legal,” Al said gleefully.

Ed snatched up the closest thing at hand, a salt shaker, and threw it at Al’s head. “Shut up!” He screeched.

Both Al and Mei ducked to the side; it flew between them and smashed to bits on the floor. The other Ravenclaws looked around in annoyance at the interruption, then realized it was Ed and Al and went back to their eating. Any attempts to reign Edward in or calm him down had been abandoned years ago.

Al drew out his wand, pointed it at the salt shaker and said, “Repairo.” As the pieces moved back together and the grains of salt flew into it, he went on, “I don’t know why you’re so keen to deny it. You’ve been mooning over him since last year.”

Mei’s eyes widened at that. “You have a crush… on _Professor Mustang_?”

Ed glared at them.

Al’s expression could have been called devious; but wasn’t because he was sure that such an expression would never grace his little brother’s face. “This is payback for all those years that you never stopped teasing me, brother.”

Ed groaned. “Al, please go away.”

Mei’s expression hadn’t changed from surprise, however, and was still focused on Ed. “You’re seriously interested in him? Even though he’s… you know.”

Both Al and Ed turned to look at her. “He’s what?” Ed demanded.

Mei looked surprised. “You don’t know?” Then her expression turned thoughtful. “I guess you wouldn’t. Rose said that she wasn’t going to spread it around and I didn’t see any need to. Lots of bad things happened during the war.”

Ed had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. “What are you talking about, Mei?”

Mei looked around as if expecting eavesdroppers, but they’re at the end of the table and there are several chairs between them and the next Ravenclaw. Everyone’s either still semi-asleep, or talking with their friends, or hurriedly reading the last minute assignments.

Once satisfied that no one’s going to hear them, she leaned forward and lowered her voice conspiratorially. “Dumbledore recruited him for the Order of the Phoenix during the first year that Voldemort came back. He was an Auror and on good terms with Mad-Eye Moody.

“Apparently Professor Mustang was very close to another member of the Order but one time, they were sent out on a secret mission and ended up dead. There were rumors that it was someone in the Order that did it. Whatever their relationship was, I don’t know but Rose said that from what she overheard, Mustang… went _dark_.” Her face was grave. It matched the tight feeling in Ed’s stomach.

It was Al that broke it. “Headmistress McGonagall wouldn’t employ someone that was a dark wizard.”

May arched her eyebrows at him. “Why not? Dumbledore did. I don’t know the details, but Rose looked pretty pale when she talked about it. She implied that he had done some pretty terrible things.”

Ed didn’t know how to react to the expression on Al’s face, it was all serious and grim. He knew what was going to happen. Al would bring _him_ up. Al would point out what a poor taste he had in lovers; had always had in lovers. This was the moment when he said–

“Brother, after what happened last summer–”

“I have class,” Ed said loudly and bolted from the table, only just remembering to grab his bag before he went.

But all through Potions, the words banged away at the inside of his head. _“Mustang went dark.”_

He knew all about that, didn’t he? He knew all about wizards that could pretend to be normal, to be sane, to be… interested in him and then turned out to be twisted and black, hiding a monster’s heart.

Did that mean something about him then? Did that mean that something–he shuddered at the thought–that something within him was attracted to the darkness? Was there something in him that thought he deserved to be punished?

He avoided Al and the others at lunch, hiding away in his dormitory room, which was pretty much the last place anyone was likely to look for him. They’d probably be scouring the library, instead because now Al would be worried and he’d want to find Ed and he’d want to _talk_ about it.

His last class of the day was DADA and, for the first time in ages, he found that he really didn’t want to go. In fact, he really wanted never to see Professor Mustang again. But it didn’t work like that. He was studying to become an Auror and he needed his marks.

Ed groaned, forced himself up off his bed, snatched up his bag and hurried down the steps and out of the common room. None of his friends accosted him on his way to DADA; he wondered if it was because they all assumed he now had the sense to stay away from Mustang, or because they all had classes elsewhere.

But–and there he was again, scrambling for some other explanation, for some reason that it didn’t have to be that he was simply fucked up when it came to his taste in paramours–Rose had heard the account of Mustang second-hand, hadn’t she?

Mei had made it sound like she had overheard it from someone; maybe that someone was just repeating rumors. After all, a lot of things had _seemed_ to happen during the war that hadn’t actually happened, right?

Take that business with that guy, what was his name, Sirius Black? He’d supposedly been on Voldemort’s side but then it turned out that he had actually been innocent the whole time.

And that other guy. Ed shuddered a little; he’d been in second year when Severus Snape had been Headmaster at Hogwarts, and he hadn’t cared for the man at all. But it turned out that he’d actually been a spy for the Order against Voldemort; so, of course, he was messed up. No one could associate with those kind of people and not have _some_ of it rub off on them. The important thing was that he’d been on their side and he’d actually helped Harry Potter defeat Voldemort.

So–and Ed knew that he was being a little bit pathetic but the hope was there and it wouldn’t go away–maybe Rose had heard an exaggerated version of the story that wasn’t actually true at all. It was possible, right?

Ed decided there was only one way to find out.

He lingered when class was over and the other seventh-years filtered out. He kept adjusting the strap of his bag, while he listened to the others leaving before he finally looked up.

Professor Mustang was flicking through the stack of essays that had been left on his desk, but now he looked up, eyebrows arched. “Is there something on your mind, Edward?”

‘ _Are you a dark wizard,_ ’ was probably not the best way to proceed.

“You were in the war, weren’t you?” He asked instead, still fidgeting with his bag.

Roy looked surprised. “Yes, I was. I was in the Order of the Phoenix, in fact.”

Ed dropped his eyes, staring down at his shoes. “Did you… have any close friends in the Order with you?”

The silence that followed made Ed shift from one foot to the other before Professor Mustang spoke. His voice caught Ed off guard. It was low and soft, softer than it had any right to be, “Why do you ask?”

Ed hesitated, then slowly looked up, meeting Mustang’s gaze uncertainly and found himself pinned by that dark, piercing gaze. He opened his mouth, searching for something to say when Roy’s expression changed. It shifted: eyes narrowing, lips thinning. His shoulders tensed subtly, as if he was raising a wall between the two of them.

Mustang leaned back, tilted his head up, and closed his eyes. “You’ve heard the rumors.” It wasn’t a question, but Roy looked neither alarmed or angry. Just a little… sad and resigned maybe.

Ed swallowed several times; when his voice emerged, it was still only than a raspy whisper, “Yeah. Are you…?” He couldn’t finish the question.

Roy was quiet for a while, then he took a deep breath. “May I have your word that you will not repeat this without my permission?”

Ed’s throat seized up. _He’s going to tell me,_ he thought a bit distantly. _He’s going to trust me with this._ “I promise,” Ed said, proud of how level his voice sounded when his heart was pounding in his chest.

“When I first joined the Order of the Phoenix, I was just out of Hogwarts. The war only lasted two years, at least; that was as long as it was acknowledged by most of the wizarding world, but it was a terrible two years. I had a number of friends during my time at Hogwarts; however, there were six that I held far and above the rest. Kain Fuery, Vato Falman, Heymans Breda, Jean Havoc, Riza Hawkeye and Maes Hughes. I respected, liked, and admired all of them; but even among them, Riza and Maes and I, were always a group. Much like you, Al, and Winry when you were children, I imagine.

“I knew Riza from the time that we were kids, we lived just down the road from each other and we bonded from being the only wizard children close to each other. Maes and I met here at Hogwarts along with the others and we enjoyed our school days immensely.”

He paused and took a deep breath. “Riza became a professional Quidditch player and Maes worked in the Muggle department. On the side, however, Dumbledore approached each of us separately and invited us to join the Order of the Phoenix. We all accepted, as did Havoc, and suddenly, it was almost like being back in school. Of course, it was different. More dangerous, more secrecy, more tension, more fear, but we all had each other’s backs. I trusted them unconditionally and they trusted me.

 “We were determined to survive the war. We used to tell each other about our plans when the war was over to keep our hopes up. Maes was going to marry his sweetheart, Riza wanted to win the Quidditch cup someday, and Jean was determined to get a girlfriend.”

“What did you want?” Ed asked when Roy paused for a moment.

Roy smiled a little, showing off a flash of white teeth. “I wanted to become Minister of Magic.”

Ed blinked, surprised. “Why?”

Roy gazed at him for a moment, then his smile softened and he looked almost _rueful_. “And that, Ed, is why you are not a Slytherin.”

Ed frowned, but before he could say anything else, Roy went on. “One day, they had a mission. Jean and Riza. Things… went wrong and they were attacked by four Death Eaters.” Roy swallowed, and his voice trembled a little bit.

It made Ed want to do something. Go over to him, lay a hand on his shoulder, _something_. Instead, he just stood in front of his desk, gripping the strap of his bag and watching Roy’s face.

“Jean, they tortured. Riza, they killed.”

The words hung heavy and dark in the air, sick and painful.

Ed swallowed. “That’s really… shitty.”

“It was war. At the time, I was glad Jean had survived even though I was devastated over losing Riza. But hey, I was already doing everything I could against them and it just made me more determined. But then… We found out that reason that Riza and Jean’s mission had been compromised was because one of the members of the Order was a traitor for Voldemort. I was… beyond enraged. I _knew_ the person; I’d spent time with them, _trusted_ them like I trusted all of the Order.”

Roy stopped. He lowered his gaze until he was looking at Ed for the first time since he’d begun his story. “Do you really want to know the rest?”

Ed thought about it, _really_ thought about it for a moment but his curiosity was getting the best of him now. He met Roy’s eyes. “Yes, I do.”

Roy held his gaze, then nodded. When he spoke again, his voice was flat, devoid of emotion. “I made a plan. I searched through reports. I spoke to every Death Eater we caught, every dark wizard, every hag, vampire, giant, house elf, every single creature that was on the Voldemort’s side. And finally, I found out where they lived.

“Maes was with me when the hag gave up the information; I went and Apperated without a second thought. I wish I could say that anger drove me to be rash, but it didn’t. I planned it. I searched for _months_. And when I got what I needed, I went with the sole intention of murdering the traitor.”

A shudder worked its way down Ed’s spine. Killing in self-defense, during a war was one thing. But to plan to murder someone, even in vengeance…

“But you didn’t?” He asked, almost desperately.

“Maes came after me. Not quite as quickly, since he didn’t know the area like I did. He had to Apperate to a location that was a good quarter of a mile away. I hadn’t killed him _yet,_ but it was a near thing.”

Ed didn’t have to guess to know what he meant. Roy hadn’t just gone to make sure the traitor died; he’d punished them for it.

 Ed recoiled, his stomach feeling like it was full of acid. What kind of person did that? Not just planned a murder, but planned to deliberately torture someone? And then, a thought crept through his mind that made him feel even sicker; _is it that different than what I did?_

He knew that his expression showed on his face, because Roy nodded once as he stood up, collecting his papers, calmly, steadily as if unsurprised. “That’s what happened, Edward. I would be grateful if you’d remember that you did give your word. Most people have similar reactions. Have a nice day.” And with that, he was gone, disappearing through the door before Ed could even open his mouth.

He raced through the door after him, caught up with him, and grabbed him by the arm.

Roy stopped dead, gripping the papers in one hand and Ed noticed that his knuckles were white. He turned his head to look at him. His face had never looked more tense to Ed’s eyes; he opened his mouth, but before he could speak, Ed blurted out, “Would you meet me next Hogsmede weekend?”

Roy blinked several times, his surprise showing at the unexpectedness of this request. “Edward, I don’t think that would be entirely proper considering–”

“Not for drinks or anything,” Ed said hastily, feeling his cheeks heat up and wanting to kick himself for it. They’d already had drinks together, what was the big deal? “Just… for a walk? Up to the Shrieking Shack? Please?” He bit his bottom lip at Roy’s dubious expression and swallowed hard. “There’s… something I want to talk about.”

Roy looked at him for a long moment before he nodded once. He still looked so fucking guarded, so distant. “If you wish,” he said.

Ed let go of his arm then and stepped back. He wanted to say something else; _I don’t think less of you._ Or maybe; _I understand what it feels like to be so desperate that you do something unforgivable._

Perhaps he could manage; _It wasn’t you that disgusted me. It’s me. It’s always been me._ “Okay,” he said, then turned and walked up the staircase.

He didn’t expect to be ambushed the second he walked into the Great Hall, but he should have been. Winry and Al came out of nowhere, each of them grabbed an arm and they dragged him out of the castle. They took him all the way down to the lake, even though it couldn’t have been more than forty degrees outside.

He didn’t try to fight them; Al had the brains of a Ravenclaw and Winry had the tenacity of a Hufflepuff. They made a dangerous team and if he tried to escape now, they would just corner him later. There were some downsides to living in the same castle together.

Once they were sure that no one was around, they let him go and Al folded his arms while Winry put her hands on her hips. “Okay,” they said in eerie unison. “Spill.”

Ed hunched his shoulders and glared at them. “Rehearsed this, have you?” He growled.

“DADA class ended at four and you didn’t come up until four twenty,” Al said. “You can’t tell me nothing happened, Brother. I won’t believe you.”

“We talked,” Ed said, well… shortly. “That’s all. He’s not dark. What else do you want to know?”

Al stared at him and Winry blinked; but she didn’t seem surprised so Ed knew that Al had already passed on that rumor. “Do him a favor and don’t repeat it. He’s not and he doesn’t need that kind of thing going around about him. Oh, and tell May not to tell people. And I should probably say something to Rose.”

“He’d never admit to being dark, Ed. You know that right?” Winry said and Al nodded.

Ed stared back coolly. “I think that Roy’s story is the only one I can trust. I don’t know what Rose heard or who from but I know it’s not true. He told me w-what h-h-happened and he didn’t go d-dark. E-e-end of s-s-story.” His teeth started to chatter. “C-can we w-w-w-wrap this u-u-up?”

Al just raised his wand and cast a warming spell. “What did he tell you?”

“He told me what happened.”

“And?” Al asked, clearly exasperated.

“And that’s it. He asked me not to spread it around and I’m not going to. It’s Roy’s story to tell, not mine.” Ed took a deep breath, “Just like you don’t go around telling people about our attempts to bring Mom back to life.”

Al and Winry both winced, but then Al’s eyes widened. Sometimes, Ed thought it was eerie how well his brother knew him. “Brother,” he breathed, his disbelief almost crystallizing in the air between them. “You’re going to tell him, aren’t you?”

Ed looked down at the ground, then back up, his gaze steely. “Equivalent exchange. He told me the worst of himself and I’m going to do the same.”

Al flapped his arms almost helplessly. “You’re not even dating yet!”

Ed’s not sure how to say; _no, but he trusted me enough to tell me what he did and now I’m going to tell him. And if we can accept what the other did, maybe then, I’ll ask him._

Instead he said simply, “It’s my story to tell and I want to tell Roy.”

“Roy, huh?” Winry asked, lifting any eyebrow before lowering it and looking serious. “Ed, look, you know that I want the best for you but don’t you think he’s a bit… old for you?”

Ed glared at her. “He’s only a fucking nine years older, Win. So, _no_. I _don’t_ think he’s too old for me.”

Winry held his eyes. “What if he thinks he’s too old for you?”

Ed fell silent. Because that was probably _exactly_ what Roy thought.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapters 3 and 4 are still being edited. If not for your sake, then for mine.


	3. The Shrieking Shack

Ed had never looked forward to an event with such trepidation. He rehearsed what he was going to say a million times in his head.

He went through every reaction Roy could possibly have and prepared a defense for everyone.

And then, he didn’t have anything to do but wait. It didn’t help that Winry and Al _and_ May _and_ Ling _and_ Lan Fan _and_ Sheska took whatever chance presented itself to talk to Ed about his interest in Roy.

May was of pretty much the same mind as Al although she had a few more, eh-hem, _interesting_ suggestions about ways of handling it.

Ed wasn’t sure _how_ Ling found out but he was _all_ over it, grinning and swaggering, and proclaiming that he’d always known and everyone else was blind. Ed had to threaten him a lot before he was sure Ling wouldn’t go around telling people.

Lan Fan just gave him a death stare and said, “At least your house won’t care that you’re dating a Slytherin.”

Sheska said, “I don’t get it. Why guys?” And Winry kissed her cheek and Ed groaned and buried his face in his hands.

But now, it was Hogsmede weekend. Ed was relieved and grateful to escape his brother and friends and headed for the path up to the Shrieking Shack. Once there, he waited, bouncing impatiently on the balls of his feet, shifting his weight and hoping that at any minute Roy would show up.

Five minutes went past. Ten. Twenty.

_He’s not coming_ , Ed thought numbly. _He’s not going to come, he’s_ –

And then, there was a head of black hair coming up the hill and Ed held his breath as the figure drew closer and resolved into the shape of _Professor_ fucking _Roy_ fucking _Mustang_.

He paused in front of Ed and they looked at each other, breath coming out in white puffs that the wind snatched away.

Ed finally broke the silence. He coughed and gestured toward the path. “You want to, um… walk?” He offered hopelessly.

Mustang– no, fuck, Roy met his gaze and nodded. “Yes,” he said and they fell in step.

And now, Ed had to talk about It. That event. He swallowed hard. He’d planned and rehearsed over and over and now… he just didn’t know what to say.

“There was something you wanted to talk about?” Roy prompted, but there was an air of caution around him, a wall clearly in place between them that hadn’t been there before.

“Yeah,” Ed cleared his throat. “Well… you know that my mother was a Veela.”

“I’m aware,” Roy said.

“My old man was a wizard,” Ed said quietly and took a deep breath. No getting out of this now.

He told Roy all of it. About how his mom had taken care of them after his dad walked out, how she’d gotten sick, how the healers in St. Mungo’s hadn’t been able to do anything about it and how she’d died.

His throat caught when he mentioned that and he hurried on before tears could turn from the prickle behind his eyes to actually spilling over.

He told Roy about how they’d kept in close touch with the Rockbell’s but still lived alone and how it had been his idea to find a way to bring their mom back to life.

He thought that he saw Roy’s eyebrows lift ever so slightly at that but when he looked again, it was back in its normal position and he decided that he was imagining things. He could feel the walls slowly coming down as he spoke to Roy; his reactions were more honest, his expression less guarded.

He admitted to studying many different types of magic; illegal magic, dark magic. They hadn’t put any restrictions on themselves when they’d been searching. Then he told Roy about what they’d actually done, how the magic had rebounded, sending Al into a comma and cutting his arm off.

They’d fixed him at St. Mungo’s but Al had been in that comma for four months.

“And,” Ed said, too fast, too breathless, it was getting hard to talk calmly, his heart was speeding up, racing too fast, “it was all my fault.” He stopped then and leaned against a tree, forcing himself to take deep breaths, hold them, and let them out again. “It was all _my_ fault,” he repeated and swallowed hard.

Roy stopped beside him and he felt his hand on his shoulder, not tentative this time but strong and firm, comforting and gentle as Roy tugged him forward. Suddenly, his face was pressed into the warmth of Roy’s robes and he took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of spice and wood smoke.

Roy’s hand rubbed soothing circles against his back; Ed let himself relax into the touch. It felt… safe. Comforting and pleasant and undemanding.

And yeah, while he might have alternated on a daily basis between wanting to kiss Roy senseless and fuck him senseless, this was nice. It felt wonderful, in fact.

Roy laughed-sighed and rested his chin against the top of Ed’s head which felt nicer yet. “Aren’t we quite the pair,” he murmured and then let Ed go. He smiled at him, softly, gently and gestured back toward the path. “Shall we head back?”

“Yeah,” Ed managed and they started back.

They were only a few feet down the path when Roy spoke, “Thank you for telling me, Edward. I’m not sure why you did but –

Ed snorted. “Why’d _you_ tell _me_?”

Roy was quiet for a moment, the only sound the squish of their feet in the slush. “Because I trusted you and I thought you deserved the truth.”

“So, it’s equivalent, right?” Ed said. “You shared a big piece of yourself with me so I shared a big piece with you.”

Roy looked at him then smiled, real and genuine. It took Ed’s breath away. “Sometimes I forget that… that the world didn’t end with the war. That there are wizards and witches still growing, still changing and facing their own struggles quite apart from the war.” He placed a hand on Ed’s shoulder and squeezed. “Thank you, Edward,” he said softly before withdrawing his hand and starting off.

Ed swallowed. It wasn’t the first time but it felt almost like some sort of signal. Maybe he should take it and not think twice. He took a deep breath and then, he stepped after Roy, slid past him and stopped in front of him, turning to face him.

Roy stopped and looked at him questioningly. Ed hesitated for a moment, but words were complicated and twisty and they almost _always_ came out wrong for Ed. So instead of talking, he moved closer to Roy, until they were only a few feet apart and then he reached out, grasped his robe and pulled him forward and down even as he went up on his tiptoes.

The whole thing took less than five seconds.

Roy’s eyes widened momentarily when he realized what Ed was doing, but it was only a millisecond before their lips were touching.

Ed pulled him hard against his chest, certain that Roy was going to push him away at any second and kissed him desperately, hopefully.

They stayed like that for a few seconds. Ed wasn’t sure how long, time seemed to be passing erratically but then, suddenly, one of Roy’s hands curled around his him and the other rested under his chin, gently tilting it to the side and giving their mouths the opportunity to slot together better.

Ed sighed in relief and Roy–

Abruptly pulled back, stared down at him, blinked, opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again. Then finally, he whispered, “Edward?”

Ed hadn’t let go of his robes. He licked his lips and eyed Roy’s; red and kiss-swollen and even more fucking tempting than usual. “Yeah?”

“What are you doing?”

Ed snorted. “Kissing you, idiot. What does it look like?” He started to lean up again but suddenly, as if regaining senses that had temporarily abandoned him, Roy pushed his hands away and took several rapid steps backward.

“Edward, no,” he said roughly. “You’re a student, you’re _my_ student, for the love of –”

“I’m seventeen; I’m of age,” Ed snapped. “It doesn’t matter, Roy, it doesn’t _fucking_ matter.”

“I’m nine years older than you,” Roy insisted. “You deserve someone whole, someone better –”

Ed couldn’t stop himself from scoffing. “What, someone untarnished and pure? Roy, I’ve got some news for you; the war didn’t leave anyone pure and untarnished. Winry lost her parents during that war. Ling lost his whole family except May to Voldemort. Rose lost her parents and her home. We’ve all lost something, some of us more than others.”

Roy stared at him for a moment, then shook his head. “It would never work, Ed,” he said quietly. “Please, don’t ask for this.”

Ed stared at him. Roy walked past him, down the path, clearly heading back to Hogsmede before Ed’s mouth started working again. “Fuck your shit, Mustang!”

Roy stopped, then slowly turned back around and looked up at him.

Ed was seething. He stalked down the path, rose up on his toes so that his nose was level with Roy’s chin and hissed, “You’re telling me that we’re a bad idea because you’re not good enough? What have you done with the _real_ Roy Mustang?”

Roy blinked, clearly not expecting this thrust. Then smiled wearily. “Ed,” he said softly, gently, and rested his hands on his shoulders, looking him in the eye. “If you still want this after you’ve graduated, _then_ we’ll talk about it. Okay?”

Ed glared at him which was pretty much the best he could do when he was trying not to rise farther up into that touch. “You’ll give me your word on that?”

Roy’s smiled faded a bit, then he nodded. “You have my word on it.”

Ed went back onto the flats of his feet and smirked. He could work with that. “Great, Professor. See you around.” With that, he strode past him and down toward Zonko’s. Roy might have said that they would talk about it _only_ after he’d graduated; that didn’t mean that he couldn’t influence his decision beforehand.

He grinned, sharp and dangerous. Edward Elric had more than one trick up his sleeve, and he was going to prove it before the N.E.W.T.’s even got close.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter to go!


	4. Graduation Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Graduation day arrives...

It should have felt strange and, in a way, it did. Graduating from Hogwarts, leaving behind the place that had been more of a home than he cared to admit. It was… hard.

However, Ed had always been one to look ahead. While Professor Flitwick climbed up on his stepstool to speak, Ed let his eyes wander the audience. Winry and Granny were there, beaming at him. Sheska stood next to Winry, and watched as if it was all a fascinating spectacle.

Al sat on the other side of Granny; May was next to him. Ed’s throat tightened; this would be the first time in years that he and Al would be separated for more than a few weeks. His brother still had another year at Hogwarts before he graduated. He’d expressed an interest in volunteering at St. Mungo’s this summer just last week.

Ling sat with his house, looking quite smug in his green and silver robes. He caught Ed’s glance and winked. Ed resisted the urge to make a face at him, looked back out on the sea of faces, and–

Roy sat in the front row. He was with the other professors, of course, but he was wearing _dress robes_.

Ed tried not to let his mouth hang open; had he slicked his hair back for the occasion? He looked _fucking_ hot. Roy met his eyes as Flitwick droned on about the merits of the graduating class and the– _jerk_ smiled at him.

Ed flushed. He hadn’t had the privilege recently of seeing Roy smile. After he’d made it his mission to get Roy to forget the whole waiting-until-graduation-thing; Roy had alternated among scolding him for his antics, giving him detention, and smiling helplessly.

But hey, here was graduation. He didn’t have to wait _anymore_.

As soon as the graduates were released from the drudgery of the ceremony, Ed found himself being hugged fiercely by Winry. She started crying on him, and then Al who gently elbowed him in the ribs, smiled and said, “Well done, Brother.”

Granny gave him a solemn once-over, and then grinned and said, “You did good, kid.”

Ed barely had time to hug her before he was swept up by Ling who danced him around in a circle, laughing as he did so. “We’re free!” He shouted, and several nearby students laughed and a few shouted the words back.

Ed spent a few minutes with his family and friends. He finally slipped away by saying that he was going to change out of the stuffy, hot grad robes and _whose_ idea had it been to make them wear these things outside in the _middle_ of May anyway? Once out of their line of sight, he started searching for Roy, but there were too many people for him to see him.

He was feeling frustrated when he saw him out of the corner of his eye, and pushed, and shoved his way after him. Roy was moving away from the crowd, back toward the castle; Ed ran to catch up with him.

He waited until they’d passed the greenhouse that housed all of Professor Sprout’s horrible plants before he grabbed Roy by the hand, pulling him out of sight of the others.

Roy let out a surprised noise, but then went quiet when he realized that it was Ed holding his hand.

Ed stopped and looked up at him, aware that his cheeks were flushed from the heat and not caring at all. “So, it’s graduation,” he said pointedly.

“Something I believe we’re all grateful for.” Roy said dryly, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. He reached out to catch Ed’s other hand, twining their fingers together. Ed flushed a bit before biting his bottom lip. “Uh, are we a thing now?”

Roy laughed quietly. “Do you still want to be?”

Ed glared at him. “Fuck, _yes_.”

Roy’s smirk softened into a smile; he leaned forward and maybe down, but Ed would never admit it and he’d punch the first person to mention it. Ed went up on his toes and met Roy’s lips before pulling his hands free and slipping his arms around his neck to hold him there.

Roy’s hands settled on his waist and drew him close. Oh, Roy was a good kisser. He parted his lips slightly to lick at Ed’s bottom lip before Ed gave in with a sigh. Roy leaned into him, running his hands up and down his sides as they kissed.

When they finally stopped to breathe, Ed looked up at Roy and smiled uncertainly, “What now?”

Roy smiled, stepped back, reached for his hand, and interlaced their fingers. “Well, maybe you’d like to help me pack my things up.”

Ed’s breath caught. “You’re leaving Hogwarts?”

Roy shrugged. “Hogwarts was never going to be a permanent thing. Not for me. And now,” he looked at Ed and smiled again. This was the wide, genuine one that made his eyes crinkle at the corners, “I think I’m ready to move on.”

Ed beamed and then tugged him toward the castle. “What are we waiting for?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Would anyone be interested in an angel!Ed and human!Roy AU?

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and critique are always welcome.


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